It will all starts with Hi's and Hello's. Then eventually, you'll try to have a decent conversation. As the time passed by, you'll realize that it becomes more that just trying. It's the two of you, genuinely cares about each other's what-nots. And when the conversations deepen, you start to evaluate. It is difficult not to get attached especially if you are consistently talking to each other almost everyday. But then, what is it that you really feel?
The landian starts
After breaking up with my long-term boyfriend, I didn't have any plans on getting in to another relationship. I just wanted to relax. I want to be the single girl again. Because to be honest, I missed being the single girl who can do anything she wants without having to compromise with a partner.I was used to doing things alone. Or doing things without having to consult with anybody. Imagine the issues that me and my ex-boyfriend had for the first few months of the relationship because of this. That will be a different blog entry.
Being in a 4-year relationship that didn't work out can drain the life out of you. I spent 4 years of my life with a person whom I thought will be with me in this lifetime. So when we broke up, like a normal human being, I was deeply hurt. All those plans, and promises are now gone with the wind. As part of moving on, I know myself well enough to admit that I cannot handle a new relationship. I, however, was open for flirting. (harot lang muna) And of course, the universe, being the greatest giver, have someone to offer.
It started with teasing. (Not that kind of teasing! You green minded one) Friends teased him because apparently liked me. I did not took it seriously. I was somehow used to this kind of teasing, especially if it happens during inuman sessions.
From DM's to late night calls.
In this digital age, communicating to someone is so accessible. We have all this social media app that allows us to have a sneak peak on the life of the person. Hence, landian has evolved from long love letters to "G ka ba?". Everything is so virtual now that having a love life seems like cooking an instant noodles. But I guess it's not for everyone. Clearly, I can't cook an instant noodles. Joke.
It was a vacation trip. A random trip for a friend supposedly. Suddenly all plans were changed because he changed the itinerary. I am not complaining though. I was up for an adventure that time. I enjoyed how random it was. But all good trips must come to an end, as they say. So in order for us to communicate (at least that's what I thought) even after that vacation, we followed each other through our social media. After all, people from that trip have become friends.
Direct messaging, sometimes late night calling, I never realized that few months have already passed. And yet we were still consistently talking to each other almost everyday. Some conversations are deep, some are total non sense. But I would like to think that we are definitely enjoying each others messages. I will admit to that. I definitely enjoyed the conversation with a splash of flirting. Those late night calls? I didn't mind the eye-bags. I was after the laughs.
What are we? Really?
Of course I will ask. I had to ask, because I want to know. I don't want to be caught in the middle and be shocked.
Is there something going on here? Are you planning something? Do you like me?
But all those questions are just thrown back at me. (And to be clear I never received a direct answer to any of those questions either.) So I answered in the most honest way that I could think of. I know it's a yes or no question. But I answered it with explanation. That is when I realized that virtual dating is not really for me. Or maybe my feelings were not enough. I cannot say that I really like someone because we are consistently talking to each other. I cannot say that I like him enough to push through with a romantic relationship. I had feelings but it was not enough. Because I felt that everything is virtual. I guess physical connection is important for me.
I want to believe that it was the same for him. Feelings are there, connections are there, but it was not enough. Not enough to clear all our baggage. Not enough to try something new. Not enough feelings for it to push through to the next level. It's just not enough.
So what will happen to those feelings? It exists, but it will die. Naturally. Similar to plants. When it is not nurtured, it will definitely die.
After dying.
We are okay. It is a mutual choice for us not to move forward. It is better that way. We still continued to talk anyway after that. We still continued to treat each other as friends. And it is okay. Some landi are not meant to push forward and we have to accept that. What matters is that we enjoyed what we had, and we treasure what we have.
After all of these, I realized that a landi dying is better than forcing to be in a relationship just because you felt a little connection. A little flirting won't hurt you, as long as you're both clear with that. But a heartache is a heartache. Our hearts may be strong but do not give it unnecessary pain. Also, I always believe to give it your all when it comes to love, so I don't think little connection will go a long way. Love shouldn't be given half baked.
And with that, I would like to thank you for reading. I will end this blog with a song title from our beloved Arianna Grande. Remember that:
Love,
Nikki
The landian starts
After breaking up with my long-term boyfriend, I didn't have any plans on getting in to another relationship. I just wanted to relax. I want to be the single girl again. Because to be honest, I missed being the single girl who can do anything she wants without having to compromise with a partner.I was used to doing things alone. Or doing things without having to consult with anybody. Imagine the issues that me and my ex-boyfriend had for the first few months of the relationship because of this. That will be a different blog entry.
Being in a 4-year relationship that didn't work out can drain the life out of you. I spent 4 years of my life with a person whom I thought will be with me in this lifetime. So when we broke up, like a normal human being, I was deeply hurt. All those plans, and promises are now gone with the wind. As part of moving on, I know myself well enough to admit that I cannot handle a new relationship. I, however, was open for flirting. (harot lang muna) And of course, the universe, being the greatest giver, have someone to offer.
It started with teasing. (Not that kind of teasing! You green minded one) Friends teased him because apparently liked me. I did not took it seriously. I was somehow used to this kind of teasing, especially if it happens during inuman sessions.
From DM's to late night calls.
In this digital age, communicating to someone is so accessible. We have all this social media app that allows us to have a sneak peak on the life of the person. Hence, landian has evolved from long love letters to "G ka ba?". Everything is so virtual now that having a love life seems like cooking an instant noodles. But I guess it's not for everyone. Clearly, I can't cook an instant noodles. Joke.
It was a vacation trip. A random trip for a friend supposedly. Suddenly all plans were changed because he changed the itinerary. I am not complaining though. I was up for an adventure that time. I enjoyed how random it was. But all good trips must come to an end, as they say. So in order for us to communicate (at least that's what I thought) even after that vacation, we followed each other through our social media. After all, people from that trip have become friends.
Direct messaging, sometimes late night calling, I never realized that few months have already passed. And yet we were still consistently talking to each other almost everyday. Some conversations are deep, some are total non sense. But I would like to think that we are definitely enjoying each others messages. I will admit to that. I definitely enjoyed the conversation with a splash of flirting. Those late night calls? I didn't mind the eye-bags. I was after the laughs.
What are we? Really?
Of course I will ask. I had to ask, because I want to know. I don't want to be caught in the middle and be shocked.
Is there something going on here? Are you planning something? Do you like me?
But all those questions are just thrown back at me. (And to be clear I never received a direct answer to any of those questions either.) So I answered in the most honest way that I could think of. I know it's a yes or no question. But I answered it with explanation. That is when I realized that virtual dating is not really for me. Or maybe my feelings were not enough. I cannot say that I really like someone because we are consistently talking to each other. I cannot say that I like him enough to push through with a romantic relationship. I had feelings but it was not enough. Because I felt that everything is virtual. I guess physical connection is important for me.
I want to believe that it was the same for him. Feelings are there, connections are there, but it was not enough. Not enough to clear all our baggage. Not enough to try something new. Not enough feelings for it to push through to the next level. It's just not enough.
So what will happen to those feelings? It exists, but it will die. Naturally. Similar to plants. When it is not nurtured, it will definitely die.
After dying.
We are okay. It is a mutual choice for us not to move forward. It is better that way. We still continued to talk anyway after that. We still continued to treat each other as friends. And it is okay. Some landi are not meant to push forward and we have to accept that. What matters is that we enjoyed what we had, and we treasure what we have.
After all of these, I realized that a landi dying is better than forcing to be in a relationship just because you felt a little connection. A little flirting won't hurt you, as long as you're both clear with that. But a heartache is a heartache. Our hearts may be strong but do not give it unnecessary pain. Also, I always believe to give it your all when it comes to love, so I don't think little connection will go a long way. Love shouldn't be given half baked.
And with that, I would like to thank you for reading. I will end this blog with a song title from our beloved Arianna Grande. Remember that:
Love,
Nikki
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