I was in high school when I had my first ghosting experience. It was not termed as ghosting back then. It was from a text mate I met through a friend. We communicated for weeks I think, before we decided to meet in person. An eyeball as they call it before. We met, went to church and had a nice dinner. And then, he did not text me after that. As in none. No thank you, no good-byes. It just ended like that. My best friend told be then, "Girl, you just got dumped".
Casper, is that you?
When I asked people about break ups, one common topic is being brought up. Ghosting. Apparently, many people had experienced ghosting in one way or the other. And for those of who still don't understand what ghosting is, it is when a person that you get along with suddenly decides to not communicate with you, or just left you hanging without saying anything. Some people believe that it hurts more than an actual break up, because you don't have an idea of what happened. It just ended.
Ghosting stories goes like this, started okay, then a sudden end. Although, I am not really sure if you can call it end, because the other party just chose to disappear without a warning. What people who do ghosting need to realize is that it is devastating to the other party. Imagine, one time you are okay, and the next time you are not? Of course people from the receiving end of ghosting will have sleepless nights constantly asking "What is wrong with me?".
I understand that breaking it up with someone, is never easy. It will never be easy whatever your reason is. But please people, be mature enough to tell it to the other person that you're ending the relationship. No matter how shallow your relationship is. Flirting or any other type, please end it well. It is never good to feel insecure about yourself. A simple, "I'm not enjoying this anymore, let's end this" can do. Just don't let the person hanging and wondering. Trust me, you don't want to experience it yourself.
If you have not experienced ghosting, good for you. I hope you will not experience it. But if you do, please remember that there is nothing wrong with you. If a person doesn't have the balls to end whatever you have upfront, then he/she is both an immature and a coward.
Just end it.
You probably had heard the line "It's not you, it's me" and all other variations of that, multiple times. I have heard a lot of break up lines. Not from personal experience but from others. From, "You deserve someone better" to "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that".
Break ups are the worst. It will always end up with one or both parties hurting. That is probably the reason why many are resulting to having an extra affair. Let me be clear, I am not justifying this cowardly act. I'm just saying that many are having trouble in admitting that they are not happy anymore, and results to having another relationship while being in a relationship.
I have heard it couple of times, their partners will tell them some cliche break up line. Then, few days after, they will see that that their partners have moved on with another person. I personally experienced this to be honest. My ex even had the audacity to ask me "What if I had someone new now?" during our dinner together. A dinner which I thought I was invited to, so that we could patch things up.
This may be easier said than done, but if you feel that it is not working anymore, just be honest. Tell it to your partner directly. Talk to them. Because, it will still hurt, no matter what words you use to do it. Don't leave them hanging. Don't keep them wondering. Have that decency and respect to your relationship and your partner to end it with honesty.
Choose the person who chooses you.
That line from "Hintayan ng Langit" is remarkable for me. It perfectly depicts that loving someone should be a constant choice. So as cliche this advice may sound, choose the person who chooses you. I strongly believe that for a relationship to work, you have to choose to be with each other, despite all the temptations and hardships. Do not be stuck with the person who left.
And with that, I would like to again thank you for reading up to this point. I hope somehow, I was able to ease your boredom.
Love,
Nikki
Casper, is that you?
When I asked people about break ups, one common topic is being brought up. Ghosting. Apparently, many people had experienced ghosting in one way or the other. And for those of who still don't understand what ghosting is, it is when a person that you get along with suddenly decides to not communicate with you, or just left you hanging without saying anything. Some people believe that it hurts more than an actual break up, because you don't have an idea of what happened. It just ended.
Ghosting stories goes like this, started okay, then a sudden end. Although, I am not really sure if you can call it end, because the other party just chose to disappear without a warning. What people who do ghosting need to realize is that it is devastating to the other party. Imagine, one time you are okay, and the next time you are not? Of course people from the receiving end of ghosting will have sleepless nights constantly asking "What is wrong with me?".
I understand that breaking it up with someone, is never easy. It will never be easy whatever your reason is. But please people, be mature enough to tell it to the other person that you're ending the relationship. No matter how shallow your relationship is. Flirting or any other type, please end it well. It is never good to feel insecure about yourself. A simple, "I'm not enjoying this anymore, let's end this" can do. Just don't let the person hanging and wondering. Trust me, you don't want to experience it yourself.
If you have not experienced ghosting, good for you. I hope you will not experience it. But if you do, please remember that there is nothing wrong with you. If a person doesn't have the balls to end whatever you have upfront, then he/she is both an immature and a coward.
Just end it.
You probably had heard the line "It's not you, it's me" and all other variations of that, multiple times. I have heard a lot of break up lines. Not from personal experience but from others. From, "You deserve someone better" to "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that".
Break ups are the worst. It will always end up with one or both parties hurting. That is probably the reason why many are resulting to having an extra affair. Let me be clear, I am not justifying this cowardly act. I'm just saying that many are having trouble in admitting that they are not happy anymore, and results to having another relationship while being in a relationship.
I have heard it couple of times, their partners will tell them some cliche break up line. Then, few days after, they will see that that their partners have moved on with another person. I personally experienced this to be honest. My ex even had the audacity to ask me "What if I had someone new now?" during our dinner together. A dinner which I thought I was invited to, so that we could patch things up.
This may be easier said than done, but if you feel that it is not working anymore, just be honest. Tell it to your partner directly. Talk to them. Because, it will still hurt, no matter what words you use to do it. Don't leave them hanging. Don't keep them wondering. Have that decency and respect to your relationship and your partner to end it with honesty.
Choose the person who chooses you.
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| Image from Google. |
And with that, I would like to again thank you for reading up to this point. I hope somehow, I was able to ease your boredom.
Love,
Nikki
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