We all have that one tita, who says her opinion on anything in an obnoxious way possible. This tita who thinks "Uy, tumaba ka ah" is a social gathering greeting. Or that tita who says "Bakit hindi ka pa nag-aasawa?" like it is so easy to find a life partner. Or this tita who acts like she already knows your future and will say that "Mahihirapan ka ng magkaanak, matanda ka na", like it is so bad to be single and not have a child. (Okay, before you react, I do want to have a child if given a chance.)
We have seen this as a meme in social media. We have heard multiple stories about this. That "tita" is not your auntie per se, but I think, it is the epitome of those toxic people that you don't need/want in your life.
Social media negatrons
True story, I muted one account in Instagram because of all the negative postings that I read. I am actually amazed on how much energy this person has to have all these hate. Because personally, I don't get it. I have always believe that hate takes up a lot of energy so I wonder how this person could go on with her day with that kind of negative energy? I wonder how much hate this person have?
I have always been a firm believer of choices. So it is definitely your choice what to put on your social media accounts. I should not care about that, but, I also have the choice on what I want to see on my timeline. It's a win-win act for me. I mute or unfollow you, I will not see your post. You can post anything you want, without me being bothered. I have done this with a lot of nyi-nyi-es people in Facebook. You can say I'm a close minded b*tch but I don't need you nyi-nyi-es thoughts on my timeline.
Toxic Positivity
I am guilty of this. Because admittedly, I am a person who cannot handle conflicts well. I always say that I am a person who is not designed to be angry at a person for a long time. I cannot function well with that kind of energy. I get tired easily. So sometimes, I choose to be positive on things. I sometimes forget that we are all different, and we have different way of coping.
From my understanding, toxic positivity is being positive towards anything even if it is already bad. It is like invalidating a negative feeling because there is a need to be positive all the time. I think this is close to being in denial of the current situation. Being positive is not wrong, but anything used excessively is bad. Positivity is good. Spreading positive energy is good. But never invalidate a negative feeling toward things that are wrong. Don't be apathetic on the wrong things around you. Be aware.
I have been using "Okay lang yan" whenever I hear problems of friends, not realizing that there is something wrong with it. I mean, if it is okay, then it shouldn't be a problem right? They will not be bothered by it. I should not say "Okay lang yan" if I don't understand what they feel. And most of the time I don't. So now, I am slightly cautious whenever I am using this phrase. I am more aware now that there are some things that might be "okay lang" for me but a big deal for others. I am still guilty of toxic positivity, but I am still learning.
Mental health is Important
This pandemic has triggered so much anxiety to many because of uncertainty. It is difficult. We are all struggling. Some may be struggling more than others, but we are all forced to adjust to live with the new normal. We all need to cope.
I have heard this multiple times already. Your mental health is important. Take care of your mental health. I agree. You have to take care of your mental health. Being physically healthy is important, but you cannot disregard your mental health. So if you think that you don't need that negative energy from an account, go, mute it. If you think that everything is too much already, you can always pause.
And with that, I will leave with a comic strip from Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes. (I hope that this is legit because I just got it from Google)
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| Image from Pinterest |
And if you need someone to talk to, or smother you with affection, you can reach me. I might laugh though, because I have a tendency to laugh at an inappropriate situation. But I am a good listener.
Till next time.
Love,
Nikki
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